It is not easy to fight with those demons living inside of him. Tell him that you love him. A reader wonders how to fix her relationship with an emotionally damaged man who says he can’t love. You will put up with his insanity because you know that it will last only for a few days and after that he will again be a loving and caring partner. Give him time to show his real face and be there no matter what happens. Such emotional insecurity doesn’t disappear that easily. By being able to recognize the signs, reading your man’s unique love language, and, most of all, understanding him, there’s a good chance you will both overcome the issue together. When you love someone who's emotionally unavailable, it can be so frustrating to feel like you're giving in a way that the person you love simply can't give back. Just think about how you would feel like if someone tried to change you. I am sure he will find some ways to pay you back! If you just give him some time to open up, he will do so. In fact, he has more love to offer than any other man you will ever meet. Tell him that he means the world to you. God sent him to your life for a reason. "Adults with insecure attachments tend to be emotionally volatile in relationships. He would like it if he could live like the rest of us and open up to every new person who came into his life. And that is what makes him so special! “Emotionally damaged” is a term that is often used to describe how someone feels after going through an emotional trauma or hurt. Emotionally damaged men have been hurt. Just let him open up to you when he feels that it is the right time for that. A reader wonders how to fix her relationship with an emotionally damaged man who says he can’t love. [Read: 11 types of girls you should avoid falling for at all costs] #7 Her heart belongs to someone … When someone is emotionally damaged most individuals family or partner try to “save" that person. Anchoring, or making her associate good feelings with you, and bad feelings away from you. The trouble with being damaged is that now I'm so paranoid that someone's trying to pull one over on me, that I'm super-defensive. You might be happy to bend over backward for someone you love, but that only works for a little while. That’s why, if you choose to love a damaged person, you have to be patient with them, you have to be delicate, you have to make the first step too many times, and most importantly, you must have real feelings for them, feelings that will endure the challenges of time, the battles awaiting you, the storms approaching the coast of your heart. You just need to be aware of the fact that your guy won’t show his feelings as often as you do. Here are some important and effective tips that will help you understand how to love someone who is emotionally unavailable. Maybe they just want to look like alpha males. They have been through hell and back and all they ask for is someone to love them. So drop it. It might take you months to make cracks in the iceberg they have inhabited, and years to touch their soul. They need someone to help them understand their broken feelings. Damaged people crave love more than anything else, yet they run from it at its very sight. And one more thing: emotionally damaged people love the most sincerely! [Read: 11 types of girls you should avoid falling for at all costs] #7 Her heart belongs to someone else. You are sent on a mission to slowly peel their shield, layer by layer, and part by part. It can take a long time until this happens but if you really care for him, you will wait. This article is intended to be humorous and slightly facetious. Try to understand him because it is difficult to live this way. And there is nothing bad about that. Show him that you are planning to stay and that you found everything that you had been looking for the day when you met him. Nobody said that love is easy and that a real man will just fall from the sky into your lap and that you will live happily ever after. Maybe it is that look they get when another man is talking to you. Following my recent article, “What Being Emotionally Unavailable Really Means and Why Men Do It,” I could see from the comments that there was a general consensus that a man’s partner, and how safe he felt in the relationship, has a big impact on how likely he is to show up and open up. Maybe it is their half-smile that never reaches their eyes. What we do have is our presence, and by listening to the needs of the suffering, we provide a connection that is more powerful than any spoken words of wisdom. 6 below], he wants someone who does not need him emotionally at all. When all is said and done, a damaged person has a lot to offer when it comes to love, compassion, and even kindness. They love them with all their heart and help them fight against the old demons still living inside them. If he doesn’t expose his heart, nobody will hurt him. He is a man who needs some extra time to let you inside his heart but once you get there, he won’t erase you from it so easily. Just another sad ending that is common when someone gives up on love before the relationship is over, and when that happens usually both people are going to get hurt in the process. It’s climbing the walls they’ve built around themselves, and never quite reaching the top. They have seen the devils in those who wore angel disguise, and now have a hard time trusting faces. An emotionally damaged man can also love. This is not the kind of love you see in movies, nor is it romantic in any way. I never thought that I would meet someone emotionally unavailable and broken. When he broke my heart 2 weeks ago he said he couldn’t feel love (rough childhood, background etc). Just think of Christian Grey. When all is said and done, a damaged person has a lot to offer when it comes to love, compassion, and even kindness. This is how so many people catch themselves falling for someone who is emotionally damaged. You can get used to the quiet and cold him and he will get used to the passionate you. And to … The woman who is emotionally unavailable because she loves herself too much, is the one you should let go. Together, you can make a perfect combination. You may unsubscribe at any time. They have been through hell and back and all they ask for is someone to love them. Emotionally unavailable people are incapable of introspection. It will be very difficult at the beginning to gain his trust, but when he sees you are there for him, he will start trusting you. They fear the feeling that still haunts them from the past, the feeling of being hurt, the feeling of being left behind. The flip side of this is an emotionally unavailable person. You can only love one person at a time, and until she stops adoring herself so much, there is no room for you. Falling In Love With People Who Don’t Love Themselves, Real Love Isn’t About Finding Someone Who Meets All The Criteria On Your List, How Living with Crohn’s Disease Has Shaped Me to Be the Person I Am Today, The Kinds Of People You Really Need To Stop Dating, What It Means To Love Someone Who’s Been Abused, In The New Year I Hope You Learn To Fall Back In Love With Yourself, Love With Abandon, Love Without Looking For An Escape, Why The Girls With The Best Hearts Find Themselves In Toxic Relationships. And these emotionally broken men obviously love in a different way as well. I am not quite sure what it is. Understand the reason: Basically, all men want to be loved! Loving a damaged person requires rivers of patience and oceans of love. An emotionally damaged man can be infuriating at times with his silence, but it's only because he isn't sure that you will listen to him. They don’t want it and go to great lengths to avoid it— but they EXPECT to be hurt and through this expectation, cause enough pain to keep themselves busy for a lifetime. That’s why, if you choose to love a damaged person, you have to be patient with them, you have to be delicate, you have to make the first step too many times, and most importantly, you must have real feelings for them, feelings that will endure the challenges of time, the battles awaiting you, the storms approaching the coast of your heart. And they realize that this feeling only comes from being vulnerable, from opening up to people, from making them see the real you, the person you are trying to hide behind your shallow skin. So, think twice before you say, “I DO!”. I love my partner. 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